__ A Walk to Remember*

haiz.. its just the beginning of the year.. I'm already mentally exhausted. how long can i sustain? everyday i have to force myself to be stable.. to stay strong.. im feeling soo tired! Piles and piles of unfinished workloads awaiting for me.. with my personal problems.. financial wise im almost immuned but i will feel sad sometimes why i end up in this current situation.. i guess no one can really understand how i actually feel.. frenz telling me go back sch to study (u think i don't want.. but sometimes its just cannot be explained..) recently, i've been asking myself.. am i a lousy person? i seem not to know how to deal with relationshipsss.. it never come to my mind that this can be soo tedious! wo lei le~ -_-" *sob*

i think im going to lose a fren.. i've prepared to let her go.
sorry gals..in the end i still disappoint u two.

i think im going to hurt him.. have been thinking for very long.. if all these haven't take place..
no rehearsal. no costume. no him. then all these wun continue.. and nothing wuld happen.
i don't know if he's true to me but i cant continue this 'coz i will hurt the other him.
and i know i cant betray u, dear..that's y i chose to be frank to you.
i really feel terribly bad to hurt someone regardless how i feel for that person. understand?
haiz~ yuan lai ai qing zhe me shang.
---
I admit i was almost tempted by the devils. Im not sure if its you but God thanks for sending meiling and jayce to me.

***

anyway tomo i'm going to be "tour guide".. gonna bring a korean guest to tour singapore.. wth~ and i cant get to claim for the day activities. so dinner im going to go for a sumptuous onE! "P
our next conference at cebu is already giving me a big headache!!! i've soo many unfinished work to do! helP~ tats not the end..

anyway last sun.. nv will i believe this will ever happen in my life. I actually went to our citibank CEO's house for DINNER!!!! WOosh! and i was served by him personally. can you imagine.. BBQ being served?! -_-" he has a very competent driver who can cook and another personal butler. cool eh!~ i love his dog.. and he claimed the dog nv bark. his house is a mini version of dao ming si's hse.. why mini becoz he usually stays alone unless his daughter comes over to visit him. His family is all at new york. i think he's from dubai. so u can imagine how RICH is he!!!! -_-" he's a friendly and chatty person i thot. had dinner with the seniors. at lst i thot it wuld be quite awkward but it turned out alright. anyway i was wearing t-shirt and jeans ok. felt so lowly over there.. hahaha.. but alright lah.. :P
btw we got three for our dance out of 14 countries. thats pretty good lor! our efforts din pay off after all :D soo delighted!

***
back to rest! tatas~

YYY

GREEN & MUSIC, my life !

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Hey peeps! Firstly, I just wanna say a BIG thank you for those who care. U know who u are, and I know who u are. Thanks for all the concerns that u've given. A BIG BIG hug to all! :) Im feeling better le. Every unhappiness will surely come to an end. Although this issue hasn't been solved yet, and I do not know things will turn out good or bad, at least I'm feeling more light-hearted now regardless wad will happen.

Gil, thats right! God has certainly sent a lot of strengths - the dearest frenz around me. Thanks to all who haven't given up on me and treat me as a fren. I love you! :) I would like to specially thanks to my dear! Thank you dear, these few weeks, I have been throwing tantrums to you. You have also not given up on me but still being there for me. I'm really very grateful and thankful. I promised you I will not shed a tear for this anymore 'coz I've simply too many things to worry.

Pok and Xiang, thanks for enlightening me, esp pok, of your theory visionary and back-looking. They really cheer me up and straightened my thots man! Both of you.. U rock! :)

Peeps! Though I did not really tell many people what exactly happened, in fact only 4 people know about this. (Is tat too many?) Well, I guess I still need some comments on this issue. Hope tat's not too much!

I want to know how I can solve this. I want to avoid this. I have my angel and devil revolving around me whenever i'm thinking of this. I'm having nightmares. Seriously, this has become the no.1 saddiest incident that has happened in my life. When I say sad, its really incomparable to when you failed badly for exams, or broke up with bf/gf, or even being scolded by whoever and met with the most unfortunate accident on earth. Looking back to the unpleasant incidents, I can still give you a smile on my face and tell you.. "what silly me, I actually cried for them all." However, if few years later, I'm going back to think abt this, I think I'll still ask myself "what exactly happened and what have I done wrong?" I guess it will still be silly crying over this incident, but i will still have a bad memory over that. Thus, if possible, I would still want to talk it out. Im not asking for too much right?

Anyway, I just wanna apologise to Gil and Dora. Thanks for asking me out during the new year corner. I wasnt there but my spirit of the countdown will always be with u two.

This will be my philosophy from now onwards - what's meant to be will always be. You cant force it, and I will not. Some people are passers-by in our lives, some people are destined to appear in your life. Some people will not forever be by your side, but if some people are, pls do cherish them. What true frenz are all about? Frenz are everywhere, but true frenz are those who genuinely show their care and concern for you, regardless you're feeling down or happy. True frenz don't have to meet up always, more than often, a SMS greeting will do it best. In another word, its the connection - if you have that person in your heart and mind, he/she will always be there and nothing can change this fact. So have you found your true frenz peeps? I hope you do!

Oh man, I'm feeling super tired now. gtg.. anyways you can still meet me this month coz I guess I will be very very busy the next month. Feeling very stressful just like when I was preparing for the forum during November 2006. -_-" Just pray that I wun get sick anymore.

One more last thank to all! :)

YYY

GREEN & MUSIC, my life !

Sunday, January 07, 2007