*___ A Walk to Remember

WOW... i cant believe it! i saw JJ at frenster.. under jy's frenlist.. he's jus there.. omG~ but he's not name JJ or wayne or junjie or wadeva.. he called himself.. ermmx.. haha.. some nickname lah.. wahaha.. omg~ can u believe it? i spotted him.. but his profile is kept confidential.. understand why he does that.. if not.. a dozens "swamp" or wose.. thousands of his fans.. will come flooding his awaiting list.. WAHAHA..

im still wondering should i add him leh.. hmm.. later i soo excited wan to add him.. he rejects me.. then i sian liao.. i oso saw "BILLY".. guess who's tat.. i was luffing when im looking at it.. its xu huan liang.. WAHAHA.. well.. billy.. ok.. hee.. =D and i can guarantee n cfm the person i think its JJ is obviously JJ lin jun jie.. coz he's oso in billy's frenlist as well.. coolz~ should i or should i not? hoho~

anyway i wanna thanks those who have given me presents n sent me birthday msgs.. THANKS GUYS!! i really appreciate alot!!!!~ and i wanna say a BIG THANK to the 3 gals.. GILLIAN THER (who requested me to put her big name in full last time.. with her photos.. but not today), DORA LEONG and TAN SHIH HUI!!!! thank you gals.. ermx.. i dunno whether i should thanks zt.. i was abit disappointed lah.. but not to the big extend.. i dunno why.. isit becoz she really drifted away from us? well yet to know.. and i dunwan to crack my brain becoz of this...

its been a dreadful year this year.. i dun like this feeling.. who doesnt wan to fare for good results.. muz depend on the abilities and patience and everything lah.. im jus TOO LAZY to be a top scholar.. nevertheless.. i have my own dreams n ambitions.. wanting to achieve wadeva tat's possible in my life.. b4 it comes to an end.. i dunno why im saying this.. LOL.. jus feeling abit emotional recently.. maybe have been coping myself at home for the whole day.. or whole wk.. or whole mth.. excluding the days tat i went out.. frenz are busy.. those who go for work.. for sch or mugging hard at exams now.. im left alone once again.. haix.. i jus wish that i can get a job REAL Soon.. i wish to be colleague with grace of coz.. and thanks guys for recommending all the jobs tat u know.. u've been a GREAT helping hand..

sometimes i feel tat wadeva my brain is thinking.. it simply cant coordinate well with my mouth or actions or anything.. im feeling soo tired.. really very tired.. i dunno wad is my future like.. haix.. i wish to go back to the past.. at least i feel younger.. and more energetic.. with everything.. hmm.. is there such an illness tat u wil actually have phobia in when u're getting older?/ LOL.. i think im getting it.. oh gosh~ i really cant accept the fact tat im 20.. seriously.. i dunno why.. pple come telling me tat there's nothing to be afraid abt.. but actually the fact is that.. im not afraid of anything.. its jus tat.. i feel there's soo many undone.. and im getting older.. and its soo fast.. 10 more years down and i'll be 30.. and wad will it be like? u know wad.. i forgotten.. dunno whether its someone who told me b4.. or i always have this dream... i dunno... but its seem to be jus there in my brain.. telling me tat i will die young and at tat.. the age will be at 31.. tat's really scary.. at the beginning.. i dun feel anything.. but now.. i fear! im telling myself.. i oni left with 11 more years.. is tat true? or is jus the brain tat's playing on me.. 132 months left.. oh gosh.. that's really fast.. can u believe it? u may think im mad..

i can say nth. coz life is really unpredictable.. i might be typing something over here.. but the next moment i might be gone forever.. i dunno y suddenly i become soo pessimistic.. i DUNNO!! dun ask me why.. im a person who doesnt really know how to express out my feelings.. tats why its really hard to understand me well.. hmm.. to the hootlee members.. do u think i really know me tat well? i doubt so.. coz sometimes i dunno even know myself well.. i try to share things with u my frenz.. but sometimes its jus too personal tat i feel i should keep it to myself.. i really dread life leh.. sick man~ wad's happening to me? im no longer a happy gal le.. i hate tat!!! argh!~ ok wadeva it is.. blog is a nice place to vent my frustration sometimes.. but its too publicize.. actually wanted to blog this at xanga.. so tat not many pple will know.. but its ok.. there's nothing to hide anyway.. coz ppl live and go~ tats it!

back to the main pt.. oh man.. i think i will go add jj lah.. if he rejects then rejects lo.. i dun mind! wahaha.. btw he claims tat he lives in bombay, india.. LOL!!!~

YYY

GREEN & MUSIC, my life !

Saturday, November 12, 2005